It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
