we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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