They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
