And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
