Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
