do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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