Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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