A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
