You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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