i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sorry about my life...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
