so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
