Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
