I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I want a musical about memes.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
