rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
