so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
