I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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