It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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