idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
