my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the liver wants what the liver wants
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
