omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize