she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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