Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
