yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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