butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
