awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize