Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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