I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
