I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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