then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
