Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I need to align my fucking chakras
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
