This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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