Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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