I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
