she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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