he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
