So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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