Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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