Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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