I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
