i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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