babies were throwing up all over the place
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
