Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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