he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
