We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
