Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
