bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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