dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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