He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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