with your own penis?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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