Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
