You're so nebulous sometimes
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
