Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
