Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
