he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My penis needs a shock collar
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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