She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
