My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
