peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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