I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
