come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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