dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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