if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
