no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
