This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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