My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
