And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
