and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
