I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I can't turn off my feet"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize