I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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