i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
